THE WILD WEST SHOW


(These verses are all spoken, as if a guided tour)

L: Now over hear ladies and gentlemen, we have the Giraffe
   (extend the g for a second ie Geeeeraffe).
A: The Giraffe
L: That's right the Giraffe!  This is the only animal in deepest 
   darkest Africa that could walk up to a bar and say "The High 
   Balls are on me!"

Chorus!

L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the Baboon
A: The Baboon (said with astonishment)
L: That's right the Baboon, what is so interesting about this animal 
   is that it has one ball made of steel and the other ball made of 
   brass.  So when it goes soring through the jungle, all you hear 
   is Ba Boom Ba Boom.

Chorus!

L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the winky wanky bird
A: The Winky Wanky bird
L: That's right, the Winky Wanky Bird.  This animal is very amazing 
   as it has a vein that is connected from the eyelid of the bird 
   down to its penis.  So every time he winks, he wanks!

Chorus!

L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the Fukarwe tribe.
A: The Fukarwe tribe!
L: That's right, the Fukarwe tribe.  These very proud three feet high 
   pygmies run through the four foot high grass of Africa yelling 
   "Where the Fukarwe. Wher the Fukarwe (Fuck are we)!"

Chorus!

L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the LEOPARD 
A: The Leopard?
L: Yes the Leopard. This amazing animal is covered in spots. 365 
   spots. One for each day of the year.
A: What about a leap year.
L: To see the 366'th spot simply lift up his tail.

Chorus!

L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the ostrich (AAS STRETCH)
A: The aastrich?
L: Yes the asstrich. This amazing bird is six foot high and lays 
   eggs as big as a football. Everytime it lays an egg its ASS 
   STRETCHES!   

Chorus!
   
L: Now over hear ladies and gents, we have the oomagooly bird. 
A: The OOMAGOOLIE bird - what the heck is that?
L: The oomagoolie bird L & G lives in very rocky ground. It has very 
   short legs and VERY BIG BALLS. Everytime this amazing bird comes 
   in to land it screeches " OO MA GOOLIES   OO MA GOOLIES "

Chorus!